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the incomprehensible shufflerun, oct 6 - oct 19, 2001

October 19, 2001 16:21

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--clarification--
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there seems to be some confusion as to the illness described in the last weekly steve. i must apologize for the incoherent nature of the letter, as i wrote it over a rather strange period of two weeks. i spent a lot of time away from work, and a lot of time eating apples and yogurt. i got better from the mumps-like thing, got sick with something else, and then got better again. so that might explain how i went from being a lop-sided pumpkin-head to having a syringe up my ass. : )

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--the incomprehensible shufflerun--
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i know i smell bad at times. i know i probably look weird or scary at times as well. i know people have looked at me and thought 'dirty punk' or 'he's so good looking. i don't know why he has to hide it' (mom). i've seen people cross the street because they didn't want to walk by someone with a mohawk. but never have i seen anyone, ANYONE, in the states feel like they needed to shufflerun when they saw me.

it could be because i'm foreign. ...or like i said, it could be because i smell bad, but i have been witness to the infamous shufflerun on numerous occasions. i'll elaborate on some of these occasions for those of you who find their curiosity unsatiable.

it was about ten thirty one evening (10:30, not 10:31) and i was walking home from the train station after a good day of climbing. it was a street sized concrete footpath and the air was refreshingly cool. i hear behind me a rather fast pattern of footsteps. they are about 10 meters behind me, but they are loud, high, and crisp - like women's dress shoes. "ksh-ksh-ksh-ksh". they are faster than my quiet, lazily satisfying stride "*--*--*--*" and i hear them approaching. they get louder, and closer, and louder, and closer "ksh-ksh-Ksh-Ksh-KSH-KSH". and then, when they are about a meter behind me, all of a sudden they switch into double time! "KSHKSHKSHKSH" had this been any other city in the world outside of japan, i would have took off running or been bracing myself for an attack from behind!

but i stay cool. sort of detached, aloof, yet ready....ready for whatever may come.

the doubletime footsteps approach from behind, then veer off to my right. then out of my peripheral vision i begin to see a shape. i hold my ground. waiting.....

the shape becomes a brown-ish, tan....skirt.... with a lady and a grandma hat attached.....running...no shuffling....no shufflerunning! beside me. it was faster than my lazy pace, yet the whole thing seemed to pass in slow motion. middle-aged, both hands were holding her large, black purse in front of her chest as she scuffed and bounced her way past me. i watched in wonder as the shufflerunner scooted back into the middle of the road and continued until she was safely two meters ahead of me. then...she slowed to her original quick pace "ksh-ksh-ksh-ksh" and went on her way ahead of me.

i was awestruck. this was not a tiny one way walking path. although i was walking purposefully in the middle of the road, there was still room for at least three people walking abreast to pass me on both sides. i continued on in bewilderment, wondering if i stunk and she was down wind. maybe i farted and didn't know it. i seriously did not know what to make of it...ah well.

but then, then it happened again! i was waiting for sachiko to return from the restroom, so i sat down on the floor of the hallway to wait. a rather good looking chick then came out of the restroom and began walking toward me. she was dressed up nicely and in fact, her and her boyfriend just finished eating at the table next to sachiko and i in a restaurant not ten minutes before. she obviously saw me because as she approached, her bag held by both hands in front of her chest, her pace quickened. and then, the shuffelrun! again! she scurried and bounced away until she was safely around the corner! is it me?! i know i didn't fart that time! perhaps she was selfconscious because i was the only other person around.... so she decided to draw attention to herself by bouncing and scooting her way by. fast, but not too fast (that would be rude ....not to mention tiring) enough to obviously stop feeling uncomfortable.

ah...i can go on and on. this has happened during the day, at night, with young chicks, older ones, cute ones, not so cute ones...and i can't figure out what it is about me that makes them uncomfortable. and what it is that makes them feel that as soon as they're a meter away from me they're automatically comfortable again???

i think it's because of my devistatingly good looks. that's it, i'm hot and they can't stand to be in my presence for too long or they'll melt... tsh....

[UPDATE: i have decided that it's not directly because of me that the inexplicable shufflerun occurs. i have seen it happen to normal japanese people as well. when two people are walking nearly the same speed, one doesn't want to feel akward, or make the other person feel awkward by invading their space, so usually the female counterpart will quicken into a shufflerun. not too fast, for that would be rude, and not too slow, for that would be akward and space invading...ach, i'll never understand women...]

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--back to the real world--
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for those of you who were not privy to this, a while back brian sent out a mass email to all his buddies that unsuspectingly caused a bit of a wordy debate. he mentioned a website called 9-11peace.org dealing with the current crap state of affairs we find ourselves in the midst of. what followed was an excellent email 'discussion' (actually we all just voiced our opinions-but i thought it productive) that was extremely diverse, thoughtful, and thought provoking. our beloved catherine then decided to set up a yahoo news group dedicated to continue talking, sharing info or articles, bitching, opining, etc about the .... i can't even call it a war because it's not war if you don't know who you're fighting .... about the horrible current international situation. anyway, if anyone wants to join, check out the fraggilicioustalkinstuff group for details.

in other news, she also sent out this excellent, though long, article that mentioned something that i also heard from Achmed at Rose (a guy from the UA Emirites). he said "it's not the american people that are hated, it's the government and foreign policy". the article is worth a read if you haven't read it already.

anyway, hope everyone's staying informed cause i think this isn't going to get better any time soon. and don't send your senators letters in kids handwriting telling them that you thought it would be a good idea to send them powdered white kool-aid cause they're doing such a good job in office.

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--visits--
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ok, a bunch of you have expressed interests in coming to visit me here in japan. and i welcome you all to my tiny apartment (now smaller that i got a piano - ha!) or to nearby youth hostels or love hotels or whatever. here's the list of people who have expressed interest in coming, and i'd like to know who's going to be definite! (cause my co-workers said that they'd like to throw a welcome party for you guys... woohoo!)

as can be seen, everyone seems to like spring. anyway, get in touch and let me know your plans. i don't have any big vacations any time, so i'll have to take off work a couple of days when you get here. so let me know. and anyone else who wants to come, send me info and get tix quick while they're cheap! (i am pretty sure it's safe to fly to japan now, but who knows. things are so unpredictable...)

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