Carblogging

I read about the old AMC AMX today and it brought back a few memories of old cars my friends and I had growing up. As the youngest of 5 or 6 kids, my friend Chuck Watkins (now a retired Army officer) inherited an old AMC Gremlin from his next-oldest sister, and boy did we have some great times in it. I wasn't present at the legendary Filling of the Gremlin, in which Chuck (6'3"), his dad (somewhere over 6'), and 3 or 4 other large guys all squeezed into the Gremlin. The old thing was buried at sea after many years of selfless service.

My first car was Mom's 1971 Datsun 510 with 98 ragin' cubic inches under the hood - we called it the Urban Assault Vehicle, of course. It was a tough little car that withstood years of abuse, including a high-speed wreck immortalized in a Steel Teeth song [mp3 file]. I was in the UAV on my way to my high-school job at a lumber yard in Decatur IL when I thought I'd take a moment to put a new lace in one of my workboots. I looked down for a moment and when I looked up the road was over there somewhere. If I hadn't panicked everything would have been fine.

Urban Assault Vehicle
Steel Teeth, circa 1984

Biff: Trying to get to work
Running late again
Stopped at the grocery store
To pick up some shoestrings

Jumped into my car
The Urban Assault Vehicle
Shoestrings right beside me
Bill: Boy my workboots need new laces!

Biff: Started down the road
Turned at the liquor store
Grabbed ahold of those shoestrings
Bill: I think I'll just unwrap the package!

Biff: I started heading down the road
Got going about seventy-five
Bill: I think it's time to lace my boots!

Biff: There I was a-singing
Singing "Break-a My Stride"
Trying to lace those boots
Bill: What happened next just blew my mind!

Sound effects: car crash from Kiss's Detroit Rock City

Bill: I saw a host of angels
And in the middle was Bob and Doug McKenzie
And they said:
Biff: Go for it, eh?
Hey hosehead, you know, like,
teach the world a few tricks, you know, like...
Bill: And they threw me the Golden Beer.
We did him a good turn, eh?

Biff: Everything's been settled
As I sip my glass of wine
The Urban Assault Vehicle
Biff & Bill: Is doing fine!

Puerile, yes, but we were puers back then.